So in a prior installment of confessions of a former bride, I talked about wedding dress shopping. What I didn’t mention though, was dress regret! I’m not sure why I didn’t talk about before, but it happens and it sucks. I know this because it actually happened to me!
I went dress shopping for the first time very early into our nearly three year engagement. We hadn’t settled on a venue, a theme, or anything else, but dress shopping seemed exciting and fun, so the appointments were scheduled and off we went to try on lots of poofy white gowns. I tried on a lot of gowns. A lot. I didn’t know what I liked or what looked good on me. I was just having fun trying on pretty dresses and hanging out with my friends. After a whirlwind weekend of dress shopping, I chose a beautiful satin a line gown with crystal beading on the bust and a corset back. It hugged my waist and made me look like I have boobs. It was a gorgeous gown that fit like a glove. I was over the moon about it.
Unfortunately when it got down to the nitty gritty of planning and we really started digging into the TYPE of wedding we wanted to have, my shiny WHITE dress started to seem more and more out of place. Our vision was rapidly becoming a soft, rustic, garden affair at a historic home with peonies and handpicked centerpieces. When I’d look at my dress I would see a church and hotel ballroom reception. Nothing is wrong with that…it just wasn’t our type of wedding. Slowly my dress was becoming not my type of wedding dress.
Since my mom had paid for my gown, I was so afraid to tell her that I wanted a different dress. So afraid that I almost didn’t tell her that I was going shopping for a new one. You never want to feel like you are letting your mom down, or that you are doing something she might not approve of. I was so worried she would say that I was being wasteful or acting spoiled and that my old dress was just fine. I was beating myself up about the whole thing and projecting my feeling of guilt on to my mom. I finally worked up the courage to talk to her about it and to my surprise, she was incredibly understanding! I was so relieved, but more than anything I was just happy to not have to feel like a terrible person for wanting a second wedding dress.
I went back for the gown that I thought I wanted and tried on a few more “just in case”. I didn’t want to leave any more options out there for me to wonder about later on. So I tried on lace, big tulle ballgowns, slim chiffon numbers, and more. To my surprise, I ended up choosing a DIFFERENT gown than the one I had my heart set on. I hope this post doesn’t make me seem fickle…I promise, that’s not really me, I swear! After I took my gown home, I decided I would no longer look at wedding gowns in magazines, on websites, etc. Removing the temptation to second guess myself helped a lot because I ended up walking down the aisle in my second dress!
To sum up this little confessional, I would advise future brides to:
- Take your time when dress shopping!
- Sleep on your decisions.
- Think about your venue and overall wedding theme.
- Don’t let people pressure you one way or another
- Try on all types of things
- Refrain from looking at wedding gowns after you’ve purchased yours!