I feel like every so often I write a blog post that’s as much for my own benefit as it is for anyone else’s, and this is one of those posts, for sure. In writing this, my hope is that this post is able to hopefully help someone else feel like they’re not the only one dealing with this tough issue, but also so that when I’m feeling down, I can come here and read my own words reminding myself that it’s okay…we all go through it! I’ve struggled with dealing with rejection since the beginning of my journey as a photographer. Back when I first started out,  I thought it would get easier. I thought that once I built my business, I wouldn’t have to deal with rejection as much…and at the very least, it wouldn’t really hurt as much anymore.

Unfortunately, I don’t think there ever really is a point when it stops hurting. Rejection is tough. Especially when you’re a small business owner. And particularly if you own a one person small business (as is common in the wedding industry) where you’re not only the name and the face behind the business, but the one who’s doing all the hard work behind the scenes that almost no one ever sees.

This is going to be one of those things that’s easier said than done (believe me!), but you have to learn to separate yourself from the “nos”. This is so tough, especially for business owners whose businesses are very individually driven, like wedding photography. My business is built on my skills, on who I am as a person, and what I’m able to offer. Sometimes hearing a no feels very personal and it does hurt. Who hasn’t had an amazing meeting with potential clients where you felt so awesome about it when you left only to hear that they ended up not picking you? It can be crushing, for sure. But it’s really important to try to remember that there are lots of reasons for getting a “no”, and you are no less wonderful, talented, and amazing because of that one, tiny word.

When you get a no, give yourself five minutes to feel bummed and sad about it, but then focus on the positives. It wasn’t meant to be. Something better may be on it’s way. And don’t forget about your “yeses”. Anytime I’m feeling particularly down or I try really hard to focus on all of the yeses I’ve gotten. Instead of dwelling on that sucky feeling, I try to consciously be grateful for all of the clients I do have and all of the features, etc that I’ve been lucky enough to have come my way. For me, this really puts things into perspective! I love to make lists, so when I feel sad after getting rejected, sometimes I will write out a physical list of things that make me feel really proud of myself as a business owner.

Another really tough thing about facing rejection as a sole member of a small business is that you often have to go through it completely alone. If you were working at a regular company (you know, one with a bunch of people working there) and a client chose to go with someone else, it might not sting as much because you’re not bearing the brunt of it by yourself. When I’m dealing with rejection, I share it with John, close friends, or sometimes other photographer friends. It feels good to talk about it, and to have someone else remind me all of the reasons why I shouldn’t be too bummed.

Speaking of John, I wrote a post a while back about how during the thick of training for my first half marathon, John told me he thought he could easily run it without training. It made me so mad and a little hurt, but I used those negative feelings I had to push myself and train even harder. When you feel rejected, let it make you stronger! Let that hurt transform you into a better business owner. Look at what you’re doing, make adjustments, and keep moving forward. Let it make you stronger.

Rejection is a part of life. And it’s a regular part of life as a business owner! When no one comments on your blog post or likes your photo, it’s easy to feel rejected. When a potential client decides to move forward with someone else, it can hurt. When you submit a wedding or shoot you really loved and it doesn’t get accepted, your ego may take a hit. Dealing with rejection is one of the toughest things I feel like I deal with related to the business, but I know that every single person out there also goes through the same thing. I want you to know that you’re not alone…we all get rejected and we all feel hurt by it. I can guarantee you every photographer, every planner, every florist, and every other entrepreneur out there does, no matter how successful or established their business is. You are NOT alone!