I feel like I’m at a point in my life where not only are lots of things changing, but there are also lots of difficult choices to be made. Decisions that may or may not affect where I end up 20-30 years from now! Being a constant worrier and the queen of freaking out has made me so overwhelmed by some of the decisions we will have to make. Change sometimes makes me anxious so deliberately choosing to change can be very scary.

It’s not that I’m scared out of my mind about whether or not leaving my job to pursue a career in wedding photography was the right thing to do(it definitely was!), I’m also freaking out over at least a dozen other decisions that probably won’t mean anything to me in five years, like whether or not we should move to a new apartment or if we should try to trade in our car for something different.  Should we spend our extra money on redecorating or buying a new mattress set? My mind weighs about a hundred different outcomes from each random scenario I dream up. I imagine myself, John, and Lucy all as hobos with fabric sacks of our belongings sleeping in railroad boxcars (okay I mostly pictures Lucy as a hobo because she would be so cute as a bum). Will the wheels of my car will need to be prematurely replaced because of all the travel I do for photography. Should we move to a new apartment? Should we buy a washer and dryer or rent them? Should I save for a computer or a new camera body?

Recently I have learned to calm some of my fears by asking myself “What’s the worst case scenario”. It gives me peace of mind to realize that if the worst happens and my business fails, the worst case scenario will be closing up shop and getting a new corporate gig. Yeah, the thought is pretty devastating…but it’s also kind of reassuring. The worst case scenario that could come from deciding to quit my job and pursue my business full time isn’t anyone dying or being harmed. It isn’t starving to death or having to beg for money or become a hooker. Though my heart would be broken if my business ever had to close its doors at the very least if I had to fall, I would be bruised and scraped, not completely shattered.

I don’t mean to say any of this as though I won’t be doing my best and making my business the best that it can be. My heart and soul are so tied to this thing…I’m not giving myself excuses. What I am trying to say, is that above all I want to be the kind of person who isn’t afraid of what might happen because even the worst that could happen still isn’t the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Life will go on. This new perspective has given me such a great sense of peace.

No matter what, life goes on.