Time flies

Business, Personal, Photography

July 23, 2012

I looked at the calendar this morning to figure out how many days we have until we move next month (nothing serious, just another apartment on the other side of town), and I realized that I made it a month as a full time photographer without going completely broke, or bursting into flames. I had double check the date because I really couldn’t believe that yesterday marked one month since I left my full time job. Where did all that time GO??

So far it has been very scary, but so worth it. As much as I worry about money and whether or not I will meet my booking quota for next year, I’m also loving having the time to put into my work…my real work! I’m also realizing that I don’t have as much free time for work as I thought I would. It seems like there will always be more things I can work on or do…even though July has been slow photography wise, I haven’t slowed down in my office!

Another unexpected thing has been dealing with my own guilt that I should be out there working a “real” job and making more money than I currently am. I’ve struggled with this feeling a lot since I left my full time job and would even get defensive if John asked me something as simple as was I going to be taking a break anytime soon. I guess I’ve always felt like a job isn’t really a job unless you hate it, so getting up every day and truly enjoying work is kind of foreign. It has taken some time and some pep talk for me to remind myself that my job is very real, I work hard, and I shouldn’t feel like I don’t.

Over the past month, the very worst part of self employment has been all the self inflicted worries and stress. If I had more faith in myself and my business, this part might not be so bad. I’m working on it….but it’s a struggle for me because I’m a class A worrier. Seriously…I worry about the most random and ridiculous things along with actual, serious worries. I feel like I do it to myself, but I don’t know how to be any other way! Maybe I need yoga. Or wine. Or both 😉 Seriously though…this has been the most negative thing about self employment. I guess the other thing that people don’t seem to talk about much is the money. Maybe they don’t talk about it because they have way more than me and it’s not a struggle? I don’t know. But I am much, MUCH more conscious of where our money is going now that I don’t have that second income every month. We are eating out way less (we used to eat out pretty much all weekend…it was BAD), and I’m doing my best to avoid impulse purchases at Target. Being honest about where our money is going has been a rough ride for us, but it was something that we needed to do anyway. So I wouldn’t necessarily even call that part a negative, but it’s definitely an adjustment. My friend Ashley told me there would be adjustments with how we lived and I kind of just thought eh okay I guess so…but she was right. And every time I try to complain to myself about how much I wish I was going out for dinner and drinks instead of making my own pizza at home, I remind myself how lucky I am to be living my dream.

Thought I’d save the best for last….the best part of being self employed has been the flexibility. I know some people have written that they struggle with this…that they need structure. I guess I have a semi structured day (I wake up, get to my desk, work til my husband gets home, keep the tv off), but I also have given myself free reign to change that and do something fun for me if I feel like it. I feel like that’s the benefit of working from home. For example, today I have a to do list of work that I need to get done before noon, then I have a date with my sister who’s in town for the week. I love being able to spend time with my family or friends more because I’m available more. I like being able to meet a friend who has a busy schedule for lunch or meet new potential clients on a weekday afternoon because I can. I couldn’t do very much when I still worked my full time job, but now I’m getting a little bit of my life back and it’s so amazing it really makes up for all the awful moments when I’m worrying about our budget at midnight in front of a notepad full of scribbles.

So far I have loved being a full time photographer and I’m so glad that I made the leap. No, my life is not ideal and I definitely have had plenty of moments where I questioned whether or not my decision to leave my job was the right one. But when I look back at the month I’ve just had and compare it to the ones before, there were just as many worries and stresses in those months, they were just about other things. But now I work a job that I love and am proud of, and I’m never up late crying because I don’t want to go to work in the morning. Instead, I’m sitting up dreaming about all of the places I want to take my business…and some nights I’m even actually reading a book for fun.

My friend Annamarie took this for me in my first week of self employment. I’m wearing my favorite outfit!!

Leave a Comment

  1. Emilia Jane says:

    I am so happy for you 🙂

  2. katie says:

    Yay! Congratulations Katie! 🙂 Self employment will always be a struggle ( I hear) but it’s a rewarding one! I can’t wait to see your business grow more! 🙂

  3. molly says:

    katie i am seriously SO SO SO SO happy for you and so proud of you! you are doing amazing things and it’s awesome seeing you grow in your business!!

  4. Awesome awesome Katie! So happy to see you are doing well and enjoying the journey! And you are not alone – I talk about money being tight in my posts too. James and I used to eat out CONSTANTLY when I still worked my old day-job. Partly because we had NO time to cook/grocery shop/anything with all my time/energy going into working 2 full time jobs – but also because it was a luxury that having more money at the time afforded us. And when I hit my first slow season (Jan-May in Chicago) with not a lot of money in savings I was in panic mode all winter. Anyway – it is definitely worth it though! You’re living out your dreams! And trust me, you’ll get used to the new budget in no time. 🙂

  5. a – love the green cardigan!!
    b – the flexibility is one of my favorite perks of the job (besides working in my PJs, and wedding cake!!)
    c – wine. wine will definitely help ease the struggle 🙂 yoga might help too, but I have experience with wine 😉

    Congrats on becoming “the man”!

  6. Congrats!!! I’m so excited and happy for you 🙂

  7. Caroline says:

    You put into words what I’ve been trying to express for the past couple of months since I quit my full time job, I feel guilty. I feel like I should be making more money and hating my job, or else I’m taking the easy way out or something.. I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way! You sounds like you’re doing awesome and congrats on your first month self-employed!

  8. Annamarie says:

    YAY!!!!! you are doing SO great! I’m so excited for you and where your business is headed..also, i laughed out loud when I read “I’m wearing my favorite outfit!” haha..i don’t know why i just thought it sounded so cute..love you!! and congrats! keep doing yo thang;)

  9. Elkinks says:

    I ran across your blog on pinterest and I so appreciate this post. I’m about to make the leap myself and quit my “real” job and I am feeling a lot of the same things. It’s comforting to see that so far it has been a positive change for you! Great blog btw!

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