For wedding photographers, this time of year is kind of our “off-season”. Doesn’t mean we are actually off…(I wish haha), but it does mean that we aren’t shooting weddings every weekend so we have a little bit more free time than we’re used to. This is actually my first real “off season”. During the gap between the 2011 and 2012 seasons I was still working full time and my 2011 season had been really small (I started my business that summer!) so I wasn’t sure what to expect! It’s been pretty busy though, but my time is just structured a little differently and I have more time to do different types of things.

One of those things that I’ve had more time to do lately is have lunch (really, do I need an excuse to eat?) with a lot of different photographers! I enjoy these lunches and coffee dates so much! When I started my business, I never really knew that I would gain so many people I could really call my friends. As in people I genuinely like and want to just hang out with and get to know. Maybe it’s also the type of person I am, but I don’t want to make connections based on fakeness. Or based on business alone. I want to make real FRIENDSHIPS because working on your own as a small business owner day in and day out is HARD. It’s HARD. I mean, it’s also awesome, but there are a lot of struggles that go on behind the scenes. Struggles that can make you feel like you suck at life and you’re a complete failure. Having friends in the industry means you don’t have to face these alone.

I think there are a lot of photographers in the industry who are still of the old mindset that any other photographer is your competition so you shouldn’t try to make friends with people…they might stab you in the back. They think they should live alone in isolation for fear that someone will steal their secrets or start copying them. Or there are those who only make friends with others to see what they can gain from them. To me, that’s no way to live. I think that can be true  of anyone you befriend though. There’s always the chance that you make friends with someone who has ulterior motives for being friends with you or is really more of a frenemy than a friend. Haters gonna hate, you know what I’m saying? Lucky for me though, my photography buddies are the most supportive people! Without them my journey would have been so much more difficult and way less fun. These are friends that I will still talk to even if my business failed completely and I had to start over doing something new. This is why I don’t really spend any time “networking” with people that I don’t enjoy. Because life is too short and there aren’t enough hours in the day already. And my goal is never to use people or see what I can gain from knowing them…it’s to be a friend and add wonderful people to my circle.

I think it goes to show that good things will come into your life if you let go of old crap and open yourself up to something new and good. This was true for me, at least! So…if you’re a photographer and you’re reading this I’m challenging you to reach out to one other photographer who you really like and set up a coffee date! Or a lunch! Or just say hi and send some encouragement to them! Remember that the best way to make friends is to GENUINELY care about people. Set out to be a friend and you will find yourself going so much farther than if you just focus on “networking” or keeping all of your secrets safe. 🙂

From left to right, starting at the top: 1. monte cristo at lunch with Tara Liebeck, 2. Road trip with friends to see Justin & Mary’s What’s Next, 3. Me and Jen at a wedding she referred to me, 4. Olive Garden with Jen this past week, 5. Helping my friend Annamarie at her engagement session. 6. Korean food (my first time!) with Jen a couple weeks ago.