The Journey

For Business Owners, Personal

October 7, 2014

Last year at this time I was training really hard for my first half marathon. It was the first really athletic thing I’d ever done in my life! For me, it feels way more natural to be curled up on the couch with a book or a Netflix marathon than it does to lace up my sneakers and go out and sweat. I was the kid that hated gym class and wanted to be inside reading Babysitter’s Club books instead of playing outside. So for me, starting to run was weird and foreign. For weeks I trained and foam rolled my sore muscles and did twice the amount of laundry (the pile of sweatpants is twice as big when you’re self employed and you start exercising!). It was such a struggle, especially during busy season, I was so proud of how hard I had worked up until that point. Little by little I was proving to myself that despite all my doubts I could actually do it!

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(sidenote: marathon day photos are the least attractive photos you will ever have taken of yourself!)

Then one day, on a day so random I couldn’t even tell you anything else about it, John and I got on the subject of running the half. He said to me he knew that he could run the half if he had to tomorrow, with no training, because he believed in himself enough.    Oh HELL no. That statement made me so mad. I was indignant. I think I might have even cried. How could he run it tomorrow? Was he just saying that to be mean?? He hadn’t trained at all. He didn’t put in countless hours of sweat and tears like I did. As mad as I was, I (eventually) had to admit that he wasn’t wrong. And though he’s never really been much of a runner, he’s an athlete by nature. I’m not. So while it hurt my pride to hear that he could run the same race (and probably do it faster than me) without a single training mile logged, it was true.

If you’re wondering, the point of this story has nothing to do with running, nor does it really have anything to do with our marriage, which has happily survived me being incredibly indignant over what John said. The point of the story is, it doesn’t matter that John could run 13.1 miles easier than I could. What matters is that even though my journey was twice as hard as his would have been if he did the race too, I still fought through mine and made it to the finish line. There are times in the photography industry (and in regular life) when I look around at my friends and my peers and think to myself “Man, they have it easy”. They get twice as many likes on everything they post, they book the most incredible weddings, they’re booked way farther in advance than me, and they just seen to have so many wonderful opportunities that I don’t. I get caught up in that same emotion I felt when John said he could do what I’d been training for weeks and weeks to do in just a day. That all my struggles are basically for nothing since these random other people seem to have gotten everything so easily. It’s so easy to think like that! It’s hard to stay positive and not compare yourself to others. Especially when the world keeps getting smaller and smaller thanks to the internet and social media! In my opinion, the internet is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever invented. THANKS A LOT AL GORE.

In the same way that it comes naturally to John to do athletic things, some things come more easily to others than they do to me, and that’s just how it is.  Does that mean those people are not working hard? No, not necessarily. Even if John did run a half marathon without training, it would have been challenging for him, though twice as challenging for me. I try to remember this when it comes to my business. When I’m looking at other people’s successes and comparing them to mine, I consider my handicaps and how hard I’ve worked to overcome them. Every training mile I ran was a metaphor for how hard I had to work to book clients when I was starting out and literally didn’t know anyone getting married and only a few people even in that age group. I didn’t go to college and we had next to no money when I started the business so for me to compare my journey to someone who might have had a dozen sorority sisters book them or wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck and had more money to invest in their business up front does me a huge disservice. I’ve fought hard to get to where I am and to basically discredit all of it because I didn’t get it as quick as so and so or because I still don’t have x, y, or z? That’s crazy. Don’t diminish your successes. Own your own journey and remember that 13.1 miles is 13.1 miles  and no matter how long it takes you to get there, the finish line still feels pretty damn great. I like to think that most things happen for a reason, and I’ve been telling myself that things don’t come easy for me because I’m tough enough to handle it and ambitious enough to still go out and make them happen. So instead of feeling defeated when you’re scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, use that negative energy to pump yourself up and get out there and do whatever it is you’re wishing you could do!

My last little thought before I go: At the end of a race, the last runners to finish are cheered for the hardest. Why is that? Because everyone knows it took so much more for them to get there. Cheer for the people around you. Cheer for yourself. And be proud of all the struggles because they’re what made you who you are!

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  1. Alicia says:

    I got a little teary when I read this — thank you for the reminder that the struggle is worth it in the end. The harder you work, the more you earned it. Love this and needed this!!

    PS… I could never run ANY marathon so I think what you did was amazing 🙂

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